Hey readers, this post is going to be all about love and relationship advice. As I know that some of you are having troubles with your love life. Well now you don't have to worry about it. Just read some of the advices since all we need is a little help.
Rushing Into Relationships
Are you trying to rush into developing a relationship? This happens with some of you, when you find that most of your friends have a regular mate, or that the time to marry is right, or when you feel the lack of a companion. You rush into a relationship. You are ready to settle with someone who you feel may not be right for you. That is an invitation to future problems. Why do people behave like this? What can be done? Feeling the urge to get into a relationship is natural. It is biological and there is nothing wrong about it. Rather it is an essential part of growth. The problem arises when you go into a relationship to satisfy some other desires that are not part of the relationship. For example, if you face career, or home or health problems, you may feel that getting a companion may help solve these problems. You may be feeling frustrated with your present state and need someone with you to live a happy life. This may hurt your relationship, because you are entering with your own baggage. To avoid that happening, you have two choices. Either set your life straight or search for someone who will be supportive from the beginning. You must tell your prospective partner, about how you feel and get an assurance that they will support. Sometimes, a repeated failure in getting into a relation makes you feel insufficient. You want to feel good about yourselves and not insufficient. That may make you rush into a relationship without much thought. You want a partner and that is your need because otherwise you feel that you are a failure. This will also invite problems. If you are sure about yourself, wait and get into relationship with the right person. Don't rush for the reason that you need someone, so that you don't feel like a failure. Before entering into a relationship, assess yourself, your needs, find out about the kind of partner you are looking for and then look for him/her. That is the right way to get joy.
Tell Your Partner Why You Love Them
Here is a thought that can bring freshness in your relationship. Tell your partner why you love them. Yes, tell them about all the good qualities they have. Tell them everyday about why they are so lovely. Do you think that they know about why you love them? Ask them and you may be in for a surprise. If you make your partner feel good, you will feel good. And the appreciation that you will get from your partner will be the icing on the cake. Most of you focus on what is going wrong. Why not shift the focus to - what is going right? No two individuals are ever similar. No two individuals will have a life without any strife. Why not reduce unhappiness and bring in cheer? Be very liberal with your praise. Be very stingy with blames and criticism.
What is love? Love is an emotion. There are so many emotions- compassion, hatred, anger, grief, happiness, etc. Love is also an emotion. The difference is one- love is the most powerful emotion. Hatred is also a very powerful emotion. True hatred can make a person do unthinkable. Similarly love can make a person do unthinkable, but in a positive side. Many of us complain about our partners. He/she is this and that. We have a long list of complaints and as days go by, our list increases finally leading to a break-up. Can we do something different than complaining? Sure. We can express our love and faith in our partner. We can praise him/her for their good qualities and make them feel our love. It will have two effects- our own focus shifts from bad to good, and our partner also would want to reciprocate our love. This will make them stop doing what hurts us. It is easy to destroy a relationship. Why not build?
What If You And Your Friend Love The Same Person?
Many of us come across this movie-like situation. You like a girl and your best friend also likes the same girl. Or you like a boy and your best friend likes the same boy. What should be done? On one side, you have a long standing friendship and on the other side you have love that may be passionate. This does create a difficult situation. Let us talk about it. Finally either both the friends have to give away their love and maintain their friendship, or one friend has to get love and the other has to sacrifice. In the second situation, the friendship may remain intact or may break up. What is the best way out? One comes across many people discussing this kind of situation and what always surprises is, that they don't first talk to the girl or the boy they have fallen in love with. Why not find out who is preferred by the object of love and decide accordingly? Both the friends should talk about common love with as much clarity as possible with each other and then decide not to sacrifice their friendship for love. After that, they should approach their love and find out what he/she thinks about both of them. It may so happen that the other party is not in love with either of them. Straight talk and making things rational instead of emotional helps in such situations.
Do You Feel Loved?
One talks of love in many ways. All of you want to love someone. Many of you are in love and in a relationship. You use the word in different ways, sometimes without truly understanding the meaning of it. Let us ask you a simple question. Do you feel loved in your relationship? How does one feel loved? Imagine a mother and her child together. If the child falls, the mother rushes to her child to take care and stop him/her crying. That is extreme worry and care for someone. Do you feel that kind of care and worry for your beloved? Have you watched a river rushing to meet the ocean? If you meet your beloved after few days, will she/he rush towards you in that hurry? Have you ever felt that? Watch the dry earth, parched without water. It longs for rains. It desperately wants rain. Do you sense that kind of want in your sweetheart for you? Put your head in water and stop breathing. You want to breathe; otherwise you feel that you will die. Does your partner show that kind of love without you that she/he will die without you? If your answers to all these is yes, you are being loved. To feel loved is very important for us. When we stop feeling loved, the relationship begins cracking. Express this kind of love for your partner and expect that in return.
Love And Lies Don't Go Together
The foundation of love is trust. Love thrives on trust. Love demands trust. Love gives trust. When you love a person, you expect that the person is fully trustworthy and you become trustworthy to him/her in return. In love, you give your all to your beloved and you do that only because you trust. For any love relationship to last, the trust must last. Once the trust is lost, it hurts. The betrayed partner cannot stop loving the untrustworthy partner, but cannot trust him/her. This creates a very difficult situation. In the beginning, when you love someone deeply, you refuse to believe that your partner will ever breach your trust. Despite all the indications to the contrary, you ignore the warnings. When the trust is fully broken, you awake to the bitter and sad truth. That gives you a real shock. Some people, who are totally blinded in love, still refuse to believe that their partner lied to them. Once one is convinced of that, they get shattered. A break-up may follow with disastrous results for one who was lied upon. Love is a pure feeling. Consider any love. Love of a mother for her children, or love of a saint for God, every type of love is pure. Romantic love is equally pure. Love gives bliss because you find a partner who cares for you and who can be trusted by you. Similarly you shower care and love upon him/her and remain truthful. Even the smallest lie can sometimes create suspicion and spoil the love forever. Some lovers are suspicious by nature and if they suspect anything, they break up. If the lies are about another relationship, the results will be worse. As jealousy enters into the picture, the consequences can at times be disastrous. As said before, love is a pure feeling. No lover should lie in this relationship. Truth about any and everything will be still better, because lies always get exposed in the end.
Caring For Each Other In Love
A lot is written and discussed about love. What is love? What are the different types of love? What phases does love go through? And so on. You presume that when someone says that 'I love you', he/she cares for you. He/she cares for your likes and dislikes, cares for your comfort, cares to keep you happy and takes care not to hurt you. And you do the same for him/her. Unless one cares, how can love be complete? It is like saying that you love birds. One day, when you find an injured bird, you don't pick it up and take it to get treated. Can you still say that you love birds? Many relationships suffer immeasurably, because partners claim that they love each other, but show no care. It is like saying - 'I love him/her so much, but I fail to understand how to keep him/her happy? I don't understand what to do? I feel so helpless.' What use is love if this is the position? If you love someone so much, try to find out. Rather you should know. Either you don't love, or the other person has changed beyond recognition for you and you really feel helpless. It is the memory of the old love that makes you say- 'I love him/her so much. The present reality is different.' Many times, those who claim to love someone, ask him/her to do something totally against his/her values. They force this as a price for their love. 'I love you so much. Cannot you do this for me?' Is this love? If you truly love, you will never ask somebody to act against his/her conscience. You will never hurt like this. Love word gets misused often. Most of the people don't love. That was infatuation for some time and now that is over. Now on the pretext of love, they want to continue a relationship that gives only pain.
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Labels: love, relationships
Future is fear when it's unknown but joy when it' clear.
